Paid protester company looking to hire 7-foot, 300-pound ‘giants’

Are you an NBA center looking for a side hustle during the offseason?

You might be qualified to apply for one of the 20 new “giant” positions open at Crowds on Demand, a Beverly Hills-based company that provides “incentivized activism” for companies and groups looking to fill out events and demonstrations with totally real, totally paid activists.

The company recently posted a job opening for people over 7 feet tall and 300 pounds. Sorry, Victor Wembanyama, you are not qualified — You’re tall enough at 7 feet 4, but your scrawny 209-pound frame simply will not turn heads at a protest.

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While Crowds on Demand founder and CEO Adam Swart (6 feet on a good day in the right shoes) said the Brobdingnagian protesters will mostly be used to turn heads for the corporate side of the business that provides crowds for new start-ups and product launches, the LinkedIn description of the job proved a bit more menacing.

“Your presence at events will be pivotal in adding an undeniable intimidation factor, bringing a ‘giant to the gate’ of organizations accused of wrongdoing, and helping to ensure our protests are taken seriously and can achieve their intended impact,” the company wrote.

Swart said that he meant intimidating “in the positive sense.”

“I wouldn’t characterize it as we’re looming over people,” he clarified.

Let’s do some unscientific math.

Crowds on Demand is looking to hire 20 7-footers. A Sports Illustrated article from 2011 estimated there are about 70 such adult men in the United States between ages 20 and 40. Swart said the LinkedIn post has received about 100 applications. OK! We shall see! Nutritional science has come a long way since 2011, after all.

To be clear, the parameters are just guidelines. If you are 6 feet 11, 295 pounds like me (Editor’s note: No, he is not), Swart said you should still apply if you think you have the correct stage presence, the comfort to frequently fly across the country (extra legroom hopefully), and a strong desire to learn about new corporate products.

“Often corporate clients are looking to get buzz outside a conference or trade show. What better way to do that than using people who literally can’t be missed?” he said.

If you are 7 feet tall and reading this story (not you, Wemby), here’s where you can apply.